HILLBETTY HUMOR
A young doctor fresh out of medical school struggles to find a place in a hospital. So, he opens a modest clinic, with an ingenious sign hanging on the door: “Treatment for $20. Not healed? Refunded in the amount of $100!”
One day, a lawyer walks by. Intrigued, she reads the sign and thinks: “What a scam! But after all… easy money!” and she enters. Sure of herself, she sighs “Doctor, I’ve lost my taste.”
The doctor says, “Nurse, bring bottle #22. Three drops in the mouth.”
The lawyer exclaims, “Ouch! But that’s kerosene!”
“Congratulations!” says the doctor, “Your taste has returned! That will be $20.”
Annoyed but not discouraged, the lawyer returns a few days later:
“I lost my memory. I don’t remember anything!”
“Nurse, bottle #22 again. Three drops.”
“Wait a minute! It’s kerosene again!” the lawyer says angrily.
“Great! Memory is back. This will be $20.”
Now angry and stubborn, the lawyer tries one last trick:
“This time, it’s my view. I don’t see it anymore.”
“I’m sorry,” says the doctor, “I don’t have a cure for that. Here is your $100.”
And he gives her $20.
“Hey!” (Wait for it)… ”It’s only $20!”
“Wonderful! Your sight is healed! That will be $20!”
A crow was sitting on a tree limb doing nothing all day. A rabbit saw the crow and asked, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered, “Sure, why not?”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting doing nothing, one must be sitting very, very high up.
One Christmas eve a fellow was driving home in the middle of the road after consuming too much spiked eggnog. As he rounded a curve he met a carload of nuns who were forced off the road into a ditch to avoid a collision.
The fellow pulled to the side of the road and stumbled over to see if anyone was injured. When the nun driving rolled down her window he asked if she was ok and she answered, “Yes, the good Lord was riding with us!”
He stepped back and slurred, “Well, the way you’re driving he better ride with me!”
Her mother was so proud when her daughter graduated from college and was looking forward to having her home again until she could find a job that would help pay for her education.
“But, I don’t want a job right now, I want to see the world!” the daughter proclaimed.
“Okay,” said her mom as she left the room. When she returned she handed the girl a world map.